FCAM: The Life I Didn't Imagine

FCAM: The Life I Didn't Imagine

{day 11} I never thought I’d get Mother’s Day cards from lovely strangers. According to my life plan, by 32 I’d be happily married to a hot anesthesiologist for years with a few creative but well-behaved biological kiddos. Together we’d take a look at our lives while drinking coffee overlooking a lake and say- simultaneously of course- we’re crazy, but let’s foster. We’re already parents and have a great support system and know what we’re doing. It’ll be great. 

I thought I’d get mother’s day cards picked out by my husband and signed with fingerpaints. I grieve the loss of the life that is not mine - maybe yet or maybe ever. But I also took stock of what I do have: a desire to care for kids, space in my life and heart, resources, awesome community, and the refusal to think there’s anything I can’t do if I work hard enough. I also know things about foster care and know kids that I cannot unknow. And so I decided - maybe it won’t look like I thought. Maybe my kiddos can just have me, and that’s enough for where they are. Maybe I can learn to parent while they learn to trust. Maybe I can ask for help far more often than is comfortable. And maybe I can hold both things: I am not where I thought I would be, but I am somewhere good and right, too. 

Thank you @fostervillageaustin for thinking of foster moms and for your sweet cards. I have not felt alone once in this journey and it’s because people and groups like you who say, we’re in this with you. 

Today I want to encourage you. If your life doesn’t look like you thought it would, that’s real and valid. And every minute still has purpose and the potential for joy and hope and healing. I’m with you, friends.

FCAM: Mother's Day

FCAM: Mother's Day

FCAM: Expectations

FCAM: Expectations